It’s like Jurassic Park in there

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So most people have seen “Jurassic Park” yes? Remember when they show the raptors inside their area and they’re attacking the electric fence systematically and Dr. Grant is in awe and says, “They’re testing the fence for weakness”?

That’s what it feels like in my uterus right now.

She’s a fairly active baby in general as it is, but for the past 20 minutes I have felt a constant pushing starting at one side and moving steadily across to the other. Then the pushing goes down one side and back up the other, and starts again. Over and over. It’s not painful and it’s not actual kicking or elbow jabbing like it usually is, it’s just like someone is in there pushing steadily to see if there’s some weak spot so that she can suddenly burst out of my stomach like the parasites in “Alien” do.

Combined with the fact that last night I had to stop reading to Hayley for a second because I was overwhelmed with the weird and uncomfortable motion of an elbow trying to protrude from my belly button (Hayley felt it and thought it was hilarious. Ha frickin’ ha kiddo.), and I can’t help but think this baby is not as enamored with my uterus as Hayley was. She also has a tendency to abruptly launch herself downward, headfirst.

This kid wants out. Too bad for her that I keep lecturing her that she needs to stay in there for at least three more weeks or else she’s grounded.

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