It never fails right? You’re having a great day and then someone else’s nonsense blows up in your face and leaves you frustrated and annoyed. Why is that? It has nothing to do with you, but you’re the one left with the fallout. How irritating!
No matter how well you might be managing yourself, sometimes bullshit from other people may slip into your own life. It is so important for your mental health and all around wellness to minimize the effect someone else has on your day-to-day life.
By the way, this stands true regardless of who the person is. Whether it’s a stranger, a colleague, or even a family member, remember you are never obligated to participate in someone else’s drama. It’s that simple.
The important thing to keep in mind is this: You can not control or be responsible for someone else’s thoughts, opinions, words, actions, or reactions. You can only control yourself.You can not control someone else's reactions, you can only control your own! Click To Tweet
Here is a simple meditation that I use when I start to feel like the negativity someone else is projecting is affecting my life a little more than I am comfortable with. And while it may seem almost TOO simple, it is remarkably effective. In my experience, the best meditation mantras are the ones that are telling you what you already know to be true. Sometimes you just need a reminder.
Meditation for someone else’s drama:
- Sit in a comfortable location, either in a simple easy seat on the floor or your bed, or sit on a chair with your feet resting on the floor. Either way, sit up nice and straight, shoulders down, hands gently folded together or resting on your knees.
- Close your eyes. Inhale and exhale deeply and slowly for three breaths. With each exhale, allow your body to release any tension, relaxing into your body.
- Repeat this mantra either out loud or simply in your head: “I am not obligated to participate in someone else’s drama. I choose to opt out of negativity.”
- Repeat this mantra at least five times, or as many times as needed.
- If you enjoy adding a visual aspect to your meditation (like I do!), picture a soft silvery light rising from the tips of your toes, up through your entire body, and out the top of your head. Allow this flowing light to wash away any negative vibes that may remain. I like to inhale while I picture the light rising through my body and exhale as I picture a dark grey storm cloud exiting my body through my nose or mouth.
- After another slow, deep inhale and exhale, open your eyes and go about your day unburdened by drama!
It’s really that easy! Throughout your day, feel free to remind yourself of your mantra, repeating it as needed at any time. I don’t always sit in full meditation but I will repeat a mantra as often as I feel I need to throughout the day.
Some additional tips that you may find helpful as you release yourself from negativity:
- If possible, remove the person from your immediate circle. While cutting someone out of your life may sound harsh, remember you need to protect yourself first. If someone is having a constantly negative affect on your mental health, you owe it to yourself to remove them.
- If you can’t remove the person, at least reduce your interactions. A very close family member or a colleague may not be as simple to ignore as an acquaintance. You may see them at family gatherings or you may be required to work alongside them as part of your job. Minimize impact by maintaining as much distance as possible and avoid sharing personal information with them. If it is family, stick to neutral topics. If it is at work, keep conversation professional. Don’t extend contact longer than is absolutely necessary.
- Meditate, ground, center. If you are unable to cut ties, uplift yourself in positive ways after required contact with someone who is infused with drama. Meditate to clear your head, involve yourself in something fun. For instance, play with your children, go for a walk (or a run!), or watch a movie that never fails to make you laugh.
- Remember that you may not be able to stop everything negative from impacting you. We are all human, after all, and we all react emotionally to certain situations. However, don’t allow someone’s negativity dictate HOW or how LONG you react. Allow yourself to make a conscience choice to not keep your head in anyone’s drama.
If all else fails, remember this when it comes to someone else’s bullshit: Shit is commonly used as fertilizer. Use that fertilizer to grow a protective barrier around yourself. You deserve to grow something beautiful.