This time three years ago Breanna wasn’t here yet. She was almost here. It’s just past 11 pm now and I think at this time I had just gotten Hayley to bed after attending a birthday party and I was reading birth stories while contracting. I was in utter denial that the contracting meant anything since every pregnant woman can tell you that if you get your hopes up about labor, it’s probably not real. Labor generally only becomes real when you stop saying, “ooh, maybe!” and start saying, “oh, shit!”
Or in my case, having your water break in bed at 7 am. Your mileage may vary.
It was weird to me today to think of time. On the one hand I can’t believe she’ll be three tomorrow, on the 20th. How is it possible? Surely she’s only about 6 months! On the other hand, I couldn’t believe that three years ago today she was still hidden away and I had no idea what she looked like, how big she would be, or what her personality might be like.
Time somehow manages to be both slow and far too fast at the same time.
I can’t wait to get up with her tomorrow and give her the birthday presents we got her! But for tonight I’m going to snuggle beside her for a bit and hold on to the one last day that she will get to be two years old.
Thank you so much for the feedback on yesterday’s entry. It was probably the most incredibly personal thing I have ever written for public consumption and I felt a little naked and exposed after the fact, but the comments I’ve gotten have made me feel better about sharing something I don’t normally talk about too often and I’m grateful for the response.